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Ach! Daaaaarn keyboard!!! Still, still, STILL trying to learn how to type without making a mess with my big paws.
I have been doing a lot of giving back this week. Ooooh yes. Right in front of them too. I have looked them in the eye and squirted at the wall. Fred Rico has too. We’ve also dropped more than one or two stink bombs and not covered them up. Why have we done this you ask? Well, I shall tell you.
This whole thing started about 2 months ago when our friends at the vet’s office sent us a letter informing us that it was time to visit them. You know, an annual visit because they miss us etc. Those lazy humans did not make an appointment. Nope, no they didn’t. Rain kept hassling the older ones about it, at my request of course, but seemingly it is Mustachio’s job and he is never home right.
So, finally, he is home for a decent amount of time and makes the appointment. Thursday morning rolls around and we have to go to the vet. Only they didn’t tell us that it was happening so we had no time to hide. First Rain grabs Fred Rico and has to hold him for a whole minute while Mustachio finds his transport. Transport broken, he has to use Heddahopper’s. So after inflicting a few wounds upon Rain they get him into the transport where he lets us know that he has been captured and does not know why.
Next, Heddahopper, by this point we have been warned by Fred Rico so she slices Rain right between her breasts and escapes. Of course those humans are sneaky, cunning if you will and had closed the door to the room they had her in. She gets cornered by two big humans and put into the transport, which at the time I did not know was to be shared by me.
THEN they grabbed me and shoved me into like a dog. I was not amused. I thought visiting our friends meant that we got to go for a ride in the car. I thought it was dignified but noooooo, so I protested!!!! Protested loudly all the way there.
Once there I shushed my face because Mustachio opened a flap in the transport and started massaging my head. That was most enjoyable. Until… yikes! What are you doing man? Leggo of my tail!!!! That nasty vet!! He checked my bum! Then my hips. THEN he says “nice firm motions in there”. Shut up about my poop man! How embarrassing, I don’t need the humans knowing about that! He put something cold on my chest too. “Oh, nice speedy heart beat there, someone’s not happy.” DUH, you are poking me, prodding me, of course I am not happy!!! “He has a heart murmur but that doesn’t seem to be bothering him.” Nope, not worried at all. THEN boom! Yeeeeeowch!!! What is that you just poked in me?! Why do you do that every year? You call yourselves our friends but you give us injections and poke us and prod us and … sigh.
The other two then had to endure all of this while I sat in the transport waiting for them. First, Heddahoppa. She inflicted a few more injuries to Rain. No problems with her at all. Then the big man, Fred Rico. Apparently the vet can tell where all the food goes. Fred Rico was not very impressed with the whole ordeal actually, tail between his legs, didn’t want out of the cage, no struggling. He’s a wuss not a puss but it’s ok he checks my traps for me when I can’t be bothered so I won’t hassle.
At least that is done for another year. Still embarrassing though! I don’t understand why humans voluntarily go to the doctor for an annual check up and booster shot, I really don’t, why would you, ugh the whole thing just worries me. Crazy animals those humans, crazy!;.///////////////////////////////////////////
I hope you are having as amusing a weekend as I am expressing my distaste for what happened this week.
His Lordship The
Emperor* Daimyo of MacGregor Manner Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor
*My title got removed. Apparently I was too noisy in the car going to the vet which is not becoming of an emperor so my title got removed.