Sad news

Dear Readers,

You will have noticed that His Lordship, the Daimyo of MacGregor Manor Mr George E. Pie MacGregor’s blog has been dormant for some months now.

Sadly, in July last year Fred Rico passed away of a stroke. 36 days later his sister Heddahoppa (pedigree name, we called her something else) passed on in her sleep just before I went to work.

6 weeks ago His Lordship also passed away having had, I suspect, depression for quite some time and having given up on eating entirely. He passed away in my arms at approximately 6:05am on a Friday morning after 2 weeks of no food, though he was drinking and seemed completely happy in himself. Over that time we kept encouraging him to eat but it seemed that he had given up.

He was a lovely and intelligent cat, always loving until the end and even left me a present of pee in my silk duvet as he passed.

All three are buried in my mother’s garden. They were 16, 16 and 18 human years old respectively.

My apologies for not having written about this sooner. It’s been a sad few months for the MacGregor Manor humans.

This blog may well end up being more active soon, though, as my mother, Flower, has taken on the volunteer role of SPCA foster mother meaning that we will have a number of cats through our place for some love, attention and TLC while they are sick, recovering from surgery or nursing. My plan is to post information about this role as we start doing it on a regular basis and about the animals we meet.

Thank you for your loyalty to his lordship. He is sadly missed.

Rain

A Restaurant Named After Me?!

Apparently, Georgie Pie is coming back. This means that McDonalds is bringing me back. Perhaps it means that they are making a restaurant named after my awesome self??? BRING me some, minions! By order of His Lordship, the Daimyo of MacGregor Manor, Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor

Every Cat Knows…

Minions!

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Hmmf! Clearly every cat does not know how to type!  I was going to write the end of my title at the top there but have failed miserably and shall start again.

Minions!  Every cat knows… JIMBOS!!!! Yes, Jimbos!  It is a cat food.  I have never tried it and I never will. I prefer the expensive, high class stuff that stays in my stomach better but every cat does know jimbos!

Rain keeps saying this phrase to me then laughing her pretty little human head off about it.  I really don’t know why.  It strikes me that a food called Jimbos would not be very tasty to either human or … no I am not even going to suggest that any cat should eat it.  However, Rain gave me bonito flakes tonight and they were delicious.  Every cat should get lost in a gigantic bag of bonito flakes if the ones I scored off of her dinner are anything to go by.  Apparently, gigantic bags of bonito flakes do exist even, oh my goodness!  Rain said that she has seen them in Japan.  I truly must go to Japan or no…

YOU will bring me a gigantic bag of bonito flakes.  Yes, you WILL bring me a gigantic bag of bonito flakes, or better yet, Furface Mustachio, if you read this before returning from whence you have gone to, you can bring me a whole fresh bonito!  Yes, Furface Mustachio that is what you can do for me or else I shall projectile vomit into your suitcase.

Rain went out for most of the day yesterday.  She and Flower both came home to find that I had left them a nice present outside Rain’s sleeping quarters.  Yes, I did, I projectile vomited outside Rain’s sleeping space.  I thought humans like to eat cat food and that it would make a nice present for Rain, why else would she sing the Jimbo’s song?  Unless there is something that I am missing?

Now wait just a gosh darn minute!  Heddahoppa has just informed me that she got more bonito flakes than me tonight!  How has this happened?!  What did she do different from Fred Rico and I?  Why is Rain saying “Patience is a virtue, George”?  Oh my goodness, I actually have missed something!  Please bring me a gigantic bag of bonito flakes!

By order of His Lordship, the Daimyo of MacGregor Manor, Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor

A Teddy Bear?!

Gooood meeerrrrrrrrning human readers,

Today hagou togsi 97aq argh stupid paws!!!  This is sad.  I keep forgetting how to type.  Anyway, Rain has finished her big pile of words now so I am taking the computer back.

The first thing I saw when I opened the Georgie Pie thought processing device was this.  How can the Prime Minister hire a teddy bear?!  How?!!!!   Surely, he must know that a cat is the spy master.  We have been, are and we always will be masters of information collecting.  We are cute, stylish and beloved by most.  What’s not to love and tell all secrets to?

I am telling you, next time, hire me!

By order of His Lordship the Daimyo of MacGregor Manor, Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor

Congratulations Gone and Prince Charming!!!

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Merow!  I am so excited that I cannot type again.  Flower and Furface Mustachio are going to be grandparents which means that this Daimyo is going to be Uncle Georgie Pie, aha yip Uncle Georgie Kitty!!!!  Gone is going to have a baby!!!  And it’s all Prince Charming’s fault!!!  Congratulations Gone and Prince Charming!  Just please please please do not let him or her, Auntie Rain said that it’s called “Peapod” for now, pull my tail when you bring it to New Zealand.  It I am still on this earth I do not want my tail pulled!!!!!!  It’s bad enough that Rain closed the door on it last week.  I was so angry!!!  Grabbed her ankle with my claws and my teeth.

Speaking of doors… they may have found a way to lock the Sunshine Room.  I tried to open it the other day and I could not get in.  WHY?!  “Rain will surely help me,” I thought.  Rain did not help me.  She just said “no”, picked me up and gave me a pat.  I don’t know what I did wrong in there, all I did was punish them for their indiscretions going out all day and all evening etc.

Sigh, humans…

Anyway, congratulations to Gone and Prince Charming.  I am sure the new human will be as awesome and cool as me.

From,

His Lordship, the Daimyo of MacGregor Manor, Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor

I don’t care what he thinks, I CAN’T catch birds!!

HISSSSS!!!!!

Merfk iuuuuu Mr Morgan!!!  Ohm I am attempting to use some human langages today because I am in a bit of a mood to scratch or bite or eeeeat someone!!!  Mr Morgan might think that he is the Daimyo and Shogun of New Zealand because he has lots of money but he is wrong!!!  My advisor, Rain, says that I am.  The mirror says that I am.  I say that I am.  Therefore I am.  Furface Mustachio would be the Shogun.

Mr Moooooogaaaannnnnn, what are you thinking?  Do you think that my friends and I can eat every native bird in the country?  Really?   Personally, I can only catch a bird if it flies into the house, crashes into the window and is knocked unconscious on the floor or lands in my mouth.  Fred Rico is more capable but in the past few years has rarely managed to hold onto any bird for longer than 5 minutes because our humans are mean and save the birds over our dignity.  How embarrassment!!!  Everyone knows that Heddahoppa can barely catch a fly, so what makes you think she can catch birds, sir?  Seriously, you are targeting the wrong species!!!

I do not like you!  If you see me, you should watch out, you might get your leg leaked on.

That is all.  You may return to your hobbit hole now.

By order of His Lordship the Daimyo of MacGregor Manor, Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor

P.S. Added next day: I have seen some brilliant stories about cats against Mr Morgan, mostly on Facebook.  Just sayin’.  Check them out by using my dear friend Mr Google.

Where’d it go?

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Merow!   I am too angry so my pawhafs don’t want to woarkn properly today.

They told me there was none in the stainless steal food receptacle.  I could smell it, so I told them to stop lying to me.  But they insisted “There’s nothing there, George,” said Rain.  “George, we’re serious, it’s all gone,” said Furface Mustachio.  Flower just scowled and put me outside.

I tried to tell them in my angry meow voice that they were lying but they did not seem to understand.

Eventually, my minions let me back in.  I told them that I was not keen to tolerate liars.  When they opened the fridge for me the box with the turkey was gone.  The small box with the cut smoked pig was also gone.  The accessible meat was [O_o] gone!!!  I could not believe it!  I CANnot believe it!

This year my humans gave me hardly any Turkey Day meat.

I must find out what is going on.  I simply must.  Only then will I be able to orchestrate appropriate gifts for them.

You will tell me!

By order of His Lordship the Daimyo of MacGregor Manor Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor

Tori ni kawate oshioki wo! (In the name of the bird I will punish you!)

Meroeowowowowowowowow!  Hisss!!!  Spit!  Scratch!  Squiiiiiiiiirt!

Bad humans!

Fred Rico scored some turkey 4 times today!  Twice from Rain straight into his mouth, once when the turkey was having the rest of the meat carved off of it, and once when Rain let us both in on Heddahoppa’s leftovers.

Heddahoppa also got offered some but they gave her too much so they reluctantly let Fred Rico and me have it.

I, me, Georgie Pie, you know the cat who writes this highly intelligent blog, got nothing, nada, zippo!, offered despite my asking over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again for it.  They kept just putting me outside.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong but, I don’t think this is very fair.  So, I have peed in a bathroom on a towel, nice and soaked so that it smells of ammonia, delicious.  Rain is not happy.  I also peed on a curtain in Rain’s office and sent Fred Rico down to sort of the problem too.

Yesterday was turkey day, there is still left over turkey, the humans are eating turkey.  Where is mine?!

I’m annoyed.

In the name of the bird I will punish you. 　鳥にかわってお仕置きを。

Give me turkey when I ask for it!

By order of his Lordship the Daimyo of MacGregor Manor Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor

Ham Turkey Ham Turkey Ham Turkey… Aoooomeow!

Merooooooooooh!

Meow!

Maaaaoooooo!

Hey! Humans!  Why are you not hearing me?  Stop putting me outside!!!!  I know it’s turkey day!!!

The stainless steal food receptacle is filled with deliciousness and I want it noooowmeow!  Inside is a gigantic piece of porky hammy noms.  In the hot stainless steal thing with a window for me to peer through is a delicious looking birrrrrrrrrrd.

They won’t give it to me and keep putting me outside where I get wet and have to run around half of the house to get back in because they don’t seem to want me in there.  Don’t they like my singing??

Sigh.  Merowowow!

Give me the deliciousness.  You will give me the deliciousness.

By order of His Lordship The Daimyo of MacGregor Manor Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor

Too Hoooooot!

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Merowow!

I am a cat.  I never thought that I would complain about the heat but Rain is writing her thesis and I can’t get access to the computer when she’s asleep so the fact that it is hot and stopping Rain from sleeping means that I can get on the computer since she claims to be too sapped of energy thanks to 30 degrees to study.

It’s very hot.  Very very hot.

Please open the freezer door so that I can sit in front of it.

By order of His Lordship the Daimyo of MacGregor Manor Mr Georgie Pie MacGregor